It's time to move on...

My friend Jessica writes a terrific blog - Is this Chocolate or Poop?  This week, as many have, she wrote about the scandal at Penn State and Joe Paterno's place in all of it.  But, she took a different approach than any other that I'd seen.  Many were outraged, and justifiably so.  And while I have no doubt that Jessica and I share many of the same emotions, she instead considered Paterno's fall from grace and what that might mean for all of us.  

She wrote:

"This, too, is a tragedy, not only for a man who has lived humbly, ethically, and gracefully for most of his many days, but for the rest of us as well.  If JoePa can’t run the gamut of a lifetime untainted by venality, if he can’t get to 409 wins without losing his compass, if he can’t offer the world his good deeds and intentions without marring them with shame, who among us can?

There is no doubt that Joe Paterno is a great man.  He is not Jesus. He is not infallible. But he’s better than most of us—and he’s been that way for a long, long time. That’s why his disgrace is so hard to take.... Maybe Joe made a mistake most of us would like to think we’d never make.  But maybe we should ask these questions as well: Is the human condition such that we all will fail, if we live long enough? Or is this world so complex, so fallen, so corrupted that it makes an unimpeachable life impossible?"

Jessica's post left me thinking...  

Some time ago, a friend and I were discussing sin, more specifically that sin is part of being human. He suggested a book, Blue Like Jazz.  In it, the author (Donald Miller) recounted a conversation he had with another man about the war, genocide, and rape amongst eight tribes in the Congo.  All terrible things.  Things that we would like to think we are not capable of.

Miller (his friend, actually) raises an interesting question though... What makes us think we are so different from these men?  We are all human, them and us.  That's not to say that we are all pedophiles or mass murderers.  But we are all capable of sin, of making the wrong choices; we are all broken and flawed.  He talks about how parents teach their children right from wrong (because choosing right from wrong is not a natural choice) and that is certainly a good start.  But teachable moments come for us as adults too.

Rich and I talked Wednesday night - the night that Joe Paterno was removed from his coaching position at Penn State.  We talked about moral obligations and legal obligations and how we might react in similar circumstances. 

No one will dispute that Coach Paterno fulfilled his legal obligation by notifying Tim Curley and Gary Shultz of the allegations against Jerry Sandusky.  The moral obligation, well that, in some circles, seems less clear.  For as many people who feel the Board of Trustees was justified in their decision to terminate Joe Paterno, an equal number saw it as a miscarriage of justice. 

Paterno himself said "With the benefit of hindsight, I would have done more."  I wholeheartedly believe that he meant those words.  I believe him when he says this is among his life's greatest sorrows; I believe that he is heartbroken.

Yes, Joe Paterno should have done more.  But of all the parties involved, outside of Sandusky himself, I believe there is no person more culpable than Mike McQueary, eyewitness to the 2002 campus event that has become the center of controversy and possible cover-up.   I railed about this fact for the better part of the last week, going so far as to write to both the Board of Trustees and Mark Sherburne (the acting AD) to express my opinion.

I find it unfathomable that someone could walk in on a violent act against a child and do NOTHING about it.  As a mom, my first instinct is to protect... and not just my own children.  I would unquestioningly do it for someone else's child too, even a child I did not know.  God knows if it were my son (or daughter) in trouble, I would be devastated if someone just walked away.

Which brings me back to teachable moments. 

Rich told me that in similar circumstances, he was not sure he would have reacted differently than McQueary.  It's simply not a situation that he had thought about or considered before, though I am sure that he has considered it ad nauseam since.  I've got to believe now, for how big a news story this has been, people have considered how they would respond in a similar situation and that they'll come out on the side of the child every time.  No doubts.  No hesitations.  A lousy way to learn a lesson, but a lesson that I hope every adult has learned - loud and clear.

Over and over, people wrote last week... This is not the Penn State that we love, the Penn State that is part of our being.   

Friday afternoon, Penn State announced that Mike McQueary was placed on administrative leave; his career at Penn State, most likely over.  And I'll be honest... I felt good about that.  I believe that this was an important step for Penn State to take in order to bring respectability back to the university and its football program, that without it, they had not done enough.  

Saturday afternoon, they played a game.  When I watched our players slowly walk (rather than run) onto the field, arm in arm in a show of unity, young men who had nothing to do with the trouble surrounding them, it was touching.  But nothing moved me more than watching both sidelines come together at midfield in a moment of silence and prayer for the victims of this tragedy. Not just players, but EVERYBODY.  I think it was an appropriate moment and it was classy as hell; as I dabbed the blue and white tears from my eyes, I was Penn State (and maybe even Cornhusker) proud once again.

The Penn Stater Magazine wrote a great piece (They Played a Game, but the Score Barely Mattered) that summed the day up nicely; the article talked about gestures, both big and small on the first Saturday in my lifetime where Joe Paterno did not lead the team.  I got a bit teary when I read that the first seat on the first of the team buses, where Coach Paterno had sat for 46 seasons, was left empty on Saturday morning.  Those kids were nothing but supportive of their coach - you could hear it in every interview they gave last week - and despite everything, I think it was a beautiful gesture.   

Only time will tell what all of this will mean to Penn State, but I hope with all my heart that high school students will continue to recognize all that is great about this campus, this school.  That bright faculty will continue to recognize what is great in this community and will continue to come here to teach and research.  That alumni will continue to give generously, to fund scholarships and faculty chairs, to make a difference.  And that around the nation, people will realize that Penn State is so much more than just a football team marred by a terrible scandal.  That they will once again see the Penn State that I love, the Penn State that is part of my being.

I baked a cake for an event at the kids school on Sunday with a Penn State theme (one of three categories for their cake decorating contest).  When I posted the picture to my Facebook account, my brother commented that there was no tear.  That was a conscious choice... my Nittany Lion is moving on.  Looking ahead.  And so am I!

Now for the media folks that have swarmed our town since the story first broke, please pack up your trucks, cameras, and staff and get the @#$%# out of town... you've lost sight of what the story should really be about.  And quite frankly, I've grown tired of you.