This is my favorite time of year... though I could certainly do without the commercialism of Christmas. I recognize that the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are the ones that keep many small businesses operating from year to year. That small businesses are the backbone of the economy. That without them and the jobs they provide, far too many people would fall into poverty. So I live with the commercialism. And, of course I do my part... I shop for loved ones even though I don't really enjoy shopping. I write checks to favorite charities. And I revel in the traditions of the season, sharing them with my children.
We have started what I hope will become a tradition in our family, thanks to my daughter's Children's Liturgy teacher this past Sunday: an Advent chain. The premise is simple - for each day of Advent (which includes the four Sundays before Christmas) there is one link. On each link is a simple suggestion for our children... something we can do as a family, something to make the season more spiritual. To remind them that there's more to the Christmas season then simply looking for our elf, or writing letters to Santa.
The chain is also a great visual countdown to Christmas. Each day, we cut off the day's link, counting down the days to Christmas.
It's still hard for Cathy to conceptualize when I tell her that Christmas is 19 days away, but she can look at the 19 links still on the door and see. She knows that when there's only one link left, Christmas is about to arrive.
If you are interested in a similar tradition in your own families, here's what's on this year's Advent Chain:
12/2 Light the first candle in your Advent wreath.
12/3 Write "I love you" notes to your parents and hide them under your pillow.
12/4 Offer to set the table for your parents.
12/5 Ask a parent for permission to make popcorn for your family (and watch a movie together).
12/6 Read about St. Nicholas, whose feast day is today.
12/7 Be nice to someone you don't like a lot.
12/8 Offer to say grace at mealtime. Suggest your family holds hands around the table as you say it.
12/9 Light two candles in your Advent wreath.
12/10 Clean your bedroom without being asked.
12/11 Look up at the wonder of the nighttime sky tonight and say thanks to God.
12/12 Make a Christmas card for your favorite teacher and give it to him or her.
12/13 Hug everyone in your family today.
12/14 Make a special ornament for each member of your family.
12/15 Get a Christmas story or poem from the library and read it to your family (I recommend God Gave Us Christmas).
12/16 Light three candles in your Advent wreath.
12/17 Make a Christmas card for an elderly neighbor.
12/18 Mail the card you made yesterday and say a prayer for your neighbor.
12/19 Practice singing Christmas carols.
12/20 Say a prayer for all the world's hungry people.
12/21 Offer to help with wrapping presents.
12/22 Suggest making Christmas cookies with your family.
12/23 Light four candles in your advent wreath.
12/24 Read Luke 2:1-20 with your family and set up your Nativity scene.
12/25 Light all your candles and your white one in your Advent wreath. Celebrate a joyful Christmas by going to Mass.
I hope this gives you some ideas for your own Advent wreath. And that it gives you a great new tradition to share in your family too.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
It's not so happy in Happy Valley
Most days, I live in an idyllic community. Or at least I did before Jerry Sandusky's arrest for child molestation last fall. In the days since then, it's been hard to be a resident of this 'Happy Valley'. We've come under the national spotlight in a way that nobody expected and short of a few individuals, nobody deserved. What I've found throughout this tragic scenario is that if you support Penn State, or God forbid, if you support Joe Paterno, there's an endless stream of people (most of whom do not live here) ready to label you as dirty, corrupt, immoral, or worse.
Like most everyone, I was anxious to read the Freeh report. I wanted to believe that an independent, unbiased investigation could shed light on a tragic situation. That it would put an end to the lingering questions about who knew what and when. And that it would finally detail Joe Paterno's role in all of this. After the initial shock and sadness and repulsion wore off last fall, I stood firmly in Joe's corner. I believed that he was a man of strong moral character who, with limited information, made the same decision that many of us would have made. That he left the allegation in the hands of people he thought better suited to deal appropriately with it and then he went back to his life and his work.
When the report was released last week, I read it in great detail... something I suspect that the majority of people pointing fingers at Penn State have not done. Instead, I suspect that most of these 'informed' people gathered everything they know from sound bytes, from television reports, from news articles on both reputable and less-than-reputable sites. Seems everyone has something to say on the subject...
I am going to go out on a limb here and express what I suspect is the minority (and likely not popular) opinion - after reading through the report, I fail to see the 'smoking gun' that equates Joe Paterno to the devil.
I don't think it's simply because I am an alumna of the university or a resident of the community. I think it's because I sat down to read the report with an open mind. I think it's because in considering the investigation and its results, the conclusions that the Freeh report makes seems to be simply conjecture or, at best, based on circumstantial evidence.
Before you judge me too harshly, I believe that terrible things happened here. But I also believe that people have lost sight of who the criminal is in this case. It was Jerry Sandusky that groomed and molested children. It was Jerry Sandusky who used his high visibility at the university and in this community to take advantage of disadvantaged children. It was Jerry Sandusky that was convicted of these atrocities. Penn State did not do this. The tens of thousands of students, alumni, and faculty didn't do this. The residents of this community didn't do this. Jerry Sandusky did this.
I read something the other day about how Penn State allowed a convicted child molester to have unfettered access to its campus and its football program as if Sandusky had been convicted long ago rather than just last month. This offends me. He was not convicted of anything in the spring of 2001. Nothing.
I understand that different choices could have been made, that there are men who could have intervened and made a difference. But, do I know this simply because of hindsight? Because I have the benefit of knowing what happened in the years after Sandusky was investigated in 1998 or in the years after Mike McQueary walked into Lasch Building in 2001?
I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is this:
Sandusky was investigated in 1998. His behavior was considered inappropriate, but was not considered criminal. The local district attorney chose not to pursue charges. From the Freeh report, I know Penn State administrators believed that the investigation was appropriate and hoped that the event was behind them.
I also know that "Coach" was interested in the investigation because that's what Freeh wants me to know. When asked about it in grand jury testimony, he said that he didn't remember anything... and maybe that is true. Isn't it possible that without charges, without being actively involved in an investigation, this could easily become a 'forgettable' event to a man who at the time was in his 70s. When he was called before a grand jury in January 2011, his health had been on the decline for some time. His speech was sometimes garbled and confused. It's not clear to me that Joe lied rather than time and age made his recollection unclear. And I am not sure it should be so clear to anyone else either.
I know that there's the presumption that Joe himself made the decision to keep the shower incident from authorities. But this assumption comes from one line in one email message... "After giving it more thought and talking it over with Joe yesterday-- I am uncomfortable with what we agreed were the next steps; I am having trouble going to everyone but the person involved". This is the most 'scathing' evidence used by Freeh and the media to reduce the legacy of a man to nothing more than that of a criminal. One sentence from one email. That's it.
I can't help but wonder... if Paterno's sole intent was to hide the crime from the public and from law enforcement, why would he have brought it to Tim Curley or Gary Schultz in the first place? Do any of us have inside information about the conversation that took place between Joe Paterno and Tim Curley before that fateful decision was made?
No.
There's speculation of course, because we are told that Curley would do whatever Joe asked. But look at that statement again... "I am uncomfortable..." and "I am having trouble..." Not 'we'. Never 'we'. 'I'. Always 'I'.
I think that is an important distinction. Perhaps the most important distinction. I find it so difficult to believe that an eight-month long investigation cannot see the difference between these two words or to consider there is different meaning than what was ultimately assigned to it.
Quite honestly, I cannot help but feel as though Freeh went into this investigation with a conclusion already formed and simply looked for the 'evidence' to support it. I believe the investigation was far from complete, despite the more than 400 interviews and millions of email messages. The key players in this tragedy - Sandusky, Shultz, and Curley were advised not to speak to Freeh (who had no authority to subpoena witnesses and could not ask for testimony under oath). McQueary was not interviewed. Nor Tom Corbett.
I find Corbett's omission from the report stunning. This is a man that started the investigation while he served as the Pennsylvania Attorney General. He assigned one officer to the case and let the wheels of justice grind as slowly as possible (nearly three years in total) - perhaps in the name of his own political career. Knowing that Joe Paterno had a strong support base in the state and was an influential member of the Republican party, I think Corbett recognized that to move the investigation forward quickly, to bring down Penn State football and by default, Joe Paterno, could have dealt a death blow to his own aspirations. Once elected, Corbett became an automatic member of the Board of Trustees. Not once in that role did he ask questions in a way that could have tipped Penn State's hat to the coming storm. Not once. How is his inaction viewed so differently from the university's administrators? Why do so few seem willing to bring Corbett's sins to light?
When Joe sat down with Sally Jenkins in January, he said “I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was,” he said. “So I backed away and turned it over to some other people, people I thought would have a little more expertise than I did. It didn’t work out that way.”
Nothing I saw in the Freeh report conclusively proves to me that I should not believe Paterno's final statement on the matter. And because of that, I find it difficult to condemn him, to discount all of the good things that he did over his lifetime.
I can remember how everyone said eight months ago that more was expected of Joe Paterno... though I do not think that is fair. Part of the problem with a man of Paterno's longevity, his very public stature, is that we, collectively, made him out to be something more than he was. Simply put, he was a man. He was flawed. Fallible. Just like you or me. But most people failed to see him that way. Instead, he was larger than life. He was revered by many. Even now. He was iconic. Even now. But make no mistake. He was human. He made mistakes we like to think we would never make.
Could he have done more? No doubt. But so too could Tom Corbett, Mike McQueary, Tim Curley, Gary Schultz, Graham Spanier, and others who were witness to questionable behaviors.
I find it interesting that in a court of law, one of the few not guilty verdicts that came out of the Sandusky trial related to Mike McQueary's testimony. And I am left to wonder... if he was not seen as credible under the stringent standards of a criminal court, perhaps his tale seemed equally uncredible in the hours and days after the shower incident. Perhaps it really is possible that none of the men recognized Sandusky as the monster he turned out to be.
Certainly when Graham Spanier suggested that he was comfortable with the decision not to go to everyone, but worried what repercussions there would be if anyone found out, when Tim Curley and Gary Shultz agreed with that, these men were making a terrible, immoral choice. Even in not recognizing a monster, they must have realized something was amiss.
I think there is clear evidence that Spanier, Curley, and Schultz knew what choice they were making and what it could mean to them and to the university. But there's nothing concrete that tells me Joe Paterno knew of that decision, that he supported that choice.
To live in Happy Valley these days, you are constantly subjected to the judgements of outsiders, people who call for action... tear down the statue, take his name off the library. I think these are the wrong choices. I don't think a lifetime of good deeds should be easily forgotten. And for now, until there is irrefutable proof that Paterno orchestrated the cover up himself, I stand by my sentiments in Goodbye, Coach.
"Joe Paterno leaves a legacy... When (he) came to State College in 1950, Penn State was an agricultural school in the middle of nowhere. And while we are still in the middle of nowhere, he put this town and this college on the map. There were less than 10,000 students here in 1950. Today, there are nearly five times that number at the University Park campus and nearly ten times that number throughout the Commonwealth. We are an internationally known and respected research university.
Beaver Stadium expanded six times during his tenure here, more than doubling in size and currently seating over 106,000. Because of its success, the football program supports many of Penn State's other athletic programs...
There is a wing of the library named after Joe Paterno, he and his wife donated to the spiritual center and the soon-to-be completed Suzanne Pohland Paterno Catholic Student Faith Center. He's donated a significant amount of money to the Mount Nittany Medical Center, which is currently undergoing an ambitious expansion. They've also supported countless other local charities.
My community is a much better place because Joe Paterno lived here."
Those words are still true. Freeh did not convince me otherwise, and I for one think it's a shame to see so many people jump to conclusions simply because the media says it's so.
As was the case in November, the media is after the big story. Eight months ago, it was not Sandusky, but Paterno they went gunning for as if it were Paterno himself that molested children, that it was Paterno himself that walked into the shower and did nothing. Nobody seemed happy until he was removed from the university. And even then, nobody was happy.
I expect that the next media play will be to call for the NCAA to hand down the 'death penalty' to the football program. Like many people I know in this region, I fail to see what that would accomplish. It would punish football players that were in elementary school when this began. It would punish every student athlete here at Penn State whose athletic program is supported by football revenue. It would punish the charitable organizations that raise funds by working the concession stands during home football games. It would punish the small business owners that depend on the traffic that comes to town on fall weekends.
I am not saying that Penn State should not be held accountable for the actions of their administrators, but I feel like they've taken so many steps in the right direction. Students supporting child abuse organizations, wearing blue to remember the victims of not just this tragedy, but the tragedies that happen across America every day, alumni raising money for RAINN, a significant portion of last winter's bowl game proceeds to sex-crime advocacy groups.
At the end of the day, I feel like everyone needs to remember that it was the action of a few men, not the university as a whole. And to remember that Penn State is taking steps to make things better.
I've said before and I will say it again, I am ashamed of these people who were in a position to do more, to do better, but failed to do so. But I am not ashamed of Penn State.
Instead, I am anxious for the next set of criminal trials. Anxious to see if charges will be filed against Graham Spanier. Anxious for Jerry Sandusky to be formally sentenced and to know that he'll spend the rest of his life behind bars. And after that, I am anxious to move forward. To watch Penn State emerge from this stronger than ever.
And most of all, I am anxious for my Happy Valley to be happy again!
Like most everyone, I was anxious to read the Freeh report. I wanted to believe that an independent, unbiased investigation could shed light on a tragic situation. That it would put an end to the lingering questions about who knew what and when. And that it would finally detail Joe Paterno's role in all of this. After the initial shock and sadness and repulsion wore off last fall, I stood firmly in Joe's corner. I believed that he was a man of strong moral character who, with limited information, made the same decision that many of us would have made. That he left the allegation in the hands of people he thought better suited to deal appropriately with it and then he went back to his life and his work.
When the report was released last week, I read it in great detail... something I suspect that the majority of people pointing fingers at Penn State have not done. Instead, I suspect that most of these 'informed' people gathered everything they know from sound bytes, from television reports, from news articles on both reputable and less-than-reputable sites. Seems everyone has something to say on the subject...
I am going to go out on a limb here and express what I suspect is the minority (and likely not popular) opinion - after reading through the report, I fail to see the 'smoking gun' that equates Joe Paterno to the devil.
I don't think it's simply because I am an alumna of the university or a resident of the community. I think it's because I sat down to read the report with an open mind. I think it's because in considering the investigation and its results, the conclusions that the Freeh report makes seems to be simply conjecture or, at best, based on circumstantial evidence.
Before you judge me too harshly, I believe that terrible things happened here. But I also believe that people have lost sight of who the criminal is in this case. It was Jerry Sandusky that groomed and molested children. It was Jerry Sandusky who used his high visibility at the university and in this community to take advantage of disadvantaged children. It was Jerry Sandusky that was convicted of these atrocities. Penn State did not do this. The tens of thousands of students, alumni, and faculty didn't do this. The residents of this community didn't do this. Jerry Sandusky did this.
I read something the other day about how Penn State allowed a convicted child molester to have unfettered access to its campus and its football program as if Sandusky had been convicted long ago rather than just last month. This offends me. He was not convicted of anything in the spring of 2001. Nothing.
I understand that different choices could have been made, that there are men who could have intervened and made a difference. But, do I know this simply because of hindsight? Because I have the benefit of knowing what happened in the years after Sandusky was investigated in 1998 or in the years after Mike McQueary walked into Lasch Building in 2001?
I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is this:
Sandusky was investigated in 1998. His behavior was considered inappropriate, but was not considered criminal. The local district attorney chose not to pursue charges. From the Freeh report, I know Penn State administrators believed that the investigation was appropriate and hoped that the event was behind them.
I also know that "Coach" was interested in the investigation because that's what Freeh wants me to know. When asked about it in grand jury testimony, he said that he didn't remember anything... and maybe that is true. Isn't it possible that without charges, without being actively involved in an investigation, this could easily become a 'forgettable' event to a man who at the time was in his 70s. When he was called before a grand jury in January 2011, his health had been on the decline for some time. His speech was sometimes garbled and confused. It's not clear to me that Joe lied rather than time and age made his recollection unclear. And I am not sure it should be so clear to anyone else either.
I know that there's the presumption that Joe himself made the decision to keep the shower incident from authorities. But this assumption comes from one line in one email message... "After giving it more thought and talking it over with Joe yesterday-- I am uncomfortable with what we agreed were the next steps; I am having trouble going to everyone but the person involved". This is the most 'scathing' evidence used by Freeh and the media to reduce the legacy of a man to nothing more than that of a criminal. One sentence from one email. That's it.
I can't help but wonder... if Paterno's sole intent was to hide the crime from the public and from law enforcement, why would he have brought it to Tim Curley or Gary Schultz in the first place? Do any of us have inside information about the conversation that took place between Joe Paterno and Tim Curley before that fateful decision was made?
No.
There's speculation of course, because we are told that Curley would do whatever Joe asked. But look at that statement again... "I am uncomfortable..." and "I am having trouble..." Not 'we'. Never 'we'. 'I'. Always 'I'.
I think that is an important distinction. Perhaps the most important distinction. I find it so difficult to believe that an eight-month long investigation cannot see the difference between these two words or to consider there is different meaning than what was ultimately assigned to it.
Quite honestly, I cannot help but feel as though Freeh went into this investigation with a conclusion already formed and simply looked for the 'evidence' to support it. I believe the investigation was far from complete, despite the more than 400 interviews and millions of email messages. The key players in this tragedy - Sandusky, Shultz, and Curley were advised not to speak to Freeh (who had no authority to subpoena witnesses and could not ask for testimony under oath). McQueary was not interviewed. Nor Tom Corbett.
I find Corbett's omission from the report stunning. This is a man that started the investigation while he served as the Pennsylvania Attorney General. He assigned one officer to the case and let the wheels of justice grind as slowly as possible (nearly three years in total) - perhaps in the name of his own political career. Knowing that Joe Paterno had a strong support base in the state and was an influential member of the Republican party, I think Corbett recognized that to move the investigation forward quickly, to bring down Penn State football and by default, Joe Paterno, could have dealt a death blow to his own aspirations. Once elected, Corbett became an automatic member of the Board of Trustees. Not once in that role did he ask questions in a way that could have tipped Penn State's hat to the coming storm. Not once. How is his inaction viewed so differently from the university's administrators? Why do so few seem willing to bring Corbett's sins to light?
When Joe sat down with Sally Jenkins in January, he said “I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was,” he said. “So I backed away and turned it over to some other people, people I thought would have a little more expertise than I did. It didn’t work out that way.”
Nothing I saw in the Freeh report conclusively proves to me that I should not believe Paterno's final statement on the matter. And because of that, I find it difficult to condemn him, to discount all of the good things that he did over his lifetime.
I can remember how everyone said eight months ago that more was expected of Joe Paterno... though I do not think that is fair. Part of the problem with a man of Paterno's longevity, his very public stature, is that we, collectively, made him out to be something more than he was. Simply put, he was a man. He was flawed. Fallible. Just like you or me. But most people failed to see him that way. Instead, he was larger than life. He was revered by many. Even now. He was iconic. Even now. But make no mistake. He was human. He made mistakes we like to think we would never make.
Could he have done more? No doubt. But so too could Tom Corbett, Mike McQueary, Tim Curley, Gary Schultz, Graham Spanier, and others who were witness to questionable behaviors.
I find it interesting that in a court of law, one of the few not guilty verdicts that came out of the Sandusky trial related to Mike McQueary's testimony. And I am left to wonder... if he was not seen as credible under the stringent standards of a criminal court, perhaps his tale seemed equally uncredible in the hours and days after the shower incident. Perhaps it really is possible that none of the men recognized Sandusky as the monster he turned out to be.
Certainly when Graham Spanier suggested that he was comfortable with the decision not to go to everyone, but worried what repercussions there would be if anyone found out, when Tim Curley and Gary Shultz agreed with that, these men were making a terrible, immoral choice. Even in not recognizing a monster, they must have realized something was amiss.
I think there is clear evidence that Spanier, Curley, and Schultz knew what choice they were making and what it could mean to them and to the university. But there's nothing concrete that tells me Joe Paterno knew of that decision, that he supported that choice.
To live in Happy Valley these days, you are constantly subjected to the judgements of outsiders, people who call for action... tear down the statue, take his name off the library. I think these are the wrong choices. I don't think a lifetime of good deeds should be easily forgotten. And for now, until there is irrefutable proof that Paterno orchestrated the cover up himself, I stand by my sentiments in Goodbye, Coach.
"Joe Paterno leaves a legacy... When (he) came to State College in 1950, Penn State was an agricultural school in the middle of nowhere. And while we are still in the middle of nowhere, he put this town and this college on the map. There were less than 10,000 students here in 1950. Today, there are nearly five times that number at the University Park campus and nearly ten times that number throughout the Commonwealth. We are an internationally known and respected research university.
Beaver Stadium expanded six times during his tenure here, more than doubling in size and currently seating over 106,000. Because of its success, the football program supports many of Penn State's other athletic programs...
There is a wing of the library named after Joe Paterno, he and his wife donated to the spiritual center and the soon-to-be completed Suzanne Pohland Paterno Catholic Student Faith Center. He's donated a significant amount of money to the Mount Nittany Medical Center, which is currently undergoing an ambitious expansion. They've also supported countless other local charities.
My community is a much better place because Joe Paterno lived here."
Those words are still true. Freeh did not convince me otherwise, and I for one think it's a shame to see so many people jump to conclusions simply because the media says it's so.
As was the case in November, the media is after the big story. Eight months ago, it was not Sandusky, but Paterno they went gunning for as if it were Paterno himself that molested children, that it was Paterno himself that walked into the shower and did nothing. Nobody seemed happy until he was removed from the university. And even then, nobody was happy.
I expect that the next media play will be to call for the NCAA to hand down the 'death penalty' to the football program. Like many people I know in this region, I fail to see what that would accomplish. It would punish football players that were in elementary school when this began. It would punish every student athlete here at Penn State whose athletic program is supported by football revenue. It would punish the charitable organizations that raise funds by working the concession stands during home football games. It would punish the small business owners that depend on the traffic that comes to town on fall weekends.
I am not saying that Penn State should not be held accountable for the actions of their administrators, but I feel like they've taken so many steps in the right direction. Students supporting child abuse organizations, wearing blue to remember the victims of not just this tragedy, but the tragedies that happen across America every day, alumni raising money for RAINN, a significant portion of last winter's bowl game proceeds to sex-crime advocacy groups.
At the end of the day, I feel like everyone needs to remember that it was the action of a few men, not the university as a whole. And to remember that Penn State is taking steps to make things better.
I've said before and I will say it again, I am ashamed of these people who were in a position to do more, to do better, but failed to do so. But I am not ashamed of Penn State.
Instead, I am anxious for the next set of criminal trials. Anxious to see if charges will be filed against Graham Spanier. Anxious for Jerry Sandusky to be formally sentenced and to know that he'll spend the rest of his life behind bars. And after that, I am anxious to move forward. To watch Penn State emerge from this stronger than ever.
And most of all, I am anxious for my Happy Valley to be happy again!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Matt fought the fence...
Mid-July trips to the Emergency Room are becoming something of a bad habit in my family... this 'tradition' started last summer when Rich suffered from heat stroke during the Presque Isle Half-Marathon (for details, see Even bad days sometimes end well) and continued this past weekend thanks in part to Little League Baseball.
Our Blue Demons (I think that's what they are calling themselves) played their first tournament at Marion Walker and we were all excited to watch the boys play. Over the last few weeks, their fielding has gotten much better. So has their hitting and base running. And while we've scrimmaged against the two other ball clubs from State College, we were all looking forward to playing against other tournament teams.
The opening game of our tournament was Friday night at 7:00... Matt was scheduled to bat in the top of the second inning. As the batter in the hole, Matt was responsible for picking up the bat of the boy who was just at the plate (and who you hope is hanging out on first base). In his rush to get out to the field, he pushed a gate that was not meant to be pushed and it snapped back into his face; the gate latch caught him across his right cheekbone. Rich, who was the substitute bench coach for the game, called me out of the bleachers and I realized pretty quickly that Matt was hurt. But it wasn't until I got close that I began to realize it was something serious.
I had another coach grab me some gauze from the team's first aid kit so that I could get a look at the cut... I knew instantly that he'd need stitches.
To Matt's credit, aside from the instant fear brought on by the word "stitches", his biggest concern was that he was going to have to leave the game. Without batting. Couldn't we just put a band-aid on it and letting him finish out the game? Oh how I wish it was that easy...
Within minutes, we were on our way out to the Emergency Room, Rich a little more freaked out than I was (sometimes this mostly useless nursing degree comes in handy).
The Emergency Room instantly reminded me of why I hate the Emergency Room, especially on the weekend. Even though Matt was no longer actively bleeding, as a seven-year old boy with a fairly deep cut across his face, I would have liked for him to be seen immediately. However, it's first come, first serve in the ER and we were #6 in the queue. That's the joy of a Friday night in a college town, I suppose.
 |
| Waiting to be seen in the ER |
I asked Matt if he wanted to see his cut before they started to stitch him up... and when he said yes, I pulled out the camera (the camera that was supposed to be taking pictures at the baseball field instead). The cut, or to be technical, the 'laceration' was roughly an inch long. And as you can see, not too far from his eye. So despite everything, I think we all understood that this could easily have been much, much worse. 
Our nurse came in to apply a lidocaine gel to the site and then cover it with a surgical site cover - something she compared to Saran Wrap (though much more sticky). Somehow, with the 'Saran Wrap' cover, it looked pretty gruesome. Though from Matt's perspective, it started to feel much better... the first sign that the lidocaine was doing it's job.
Matt asked what it was going to feel like when they did the stitches and was told that he'd feel a little tugging on his skin but nothing more. I remember this sensation really well - that's exactly what it felt like when each of the kids were born. Matt's always known that he was cut out of my belly (a much easier way to explain how babies are born in my opinion) so I reminded him of this. I told him I was awake while they took not just one, but two people out of my belly. And I let him know that I didn't feel a thing. Surely if the can remove people from your body without causing any pain, the doctors and nurses could put a few stitches into a cut.
When it came time to do the stitches, they covered Matt with a little sterile drape which was perfect as it obstructed his view of what they were about to do. I laid down on the gurney beside Matt and talked to him through the procedure. And I watched. It's not a pretty sight watching that curved needle move in and out of your son's cheek. He didn't notice a thing... Hooray for lidocaine!!!
In the end, he got four stitches. Afterward he said "Stitches aren't as bad as I thought. But if I ever get stitches again, and I hope that I don't, but if I do, can I get that cold gel (the lidocaine) again?"
Sure, buddy. But let's try to avoid walking into things like fences and other sharp objects for a while.
Matt's coach called us as soon as the game was over to see how Matt was doing. He let us know that the team lost 17-14. And we learned about one of the most offensive rules (at least to the mother of a wounded child) of Little League tournaments... because Matt started the game and because he was part of the original batting order, each time he was due to come up to the plate for the entire game, it counted as an out against our team... which is quite the disadvantage at this level. I imagine that without this rule, our team would have likely come out on the winning side of the game...
 |
We were back at the field on Saturday morning to the cheers of his teammates and the inquires of little boys... some of whom were more than happy to look at the stitches or the pictures I had on the camera. Over the course of the morning, we bumped into coaches and parents from the other two State College teams, some of which had already heard about Matt's accident. Seems we're sorta famous now in the 7/8 year old baseball circuit, though I assure you this is not the thing you want to be known for.
To Matt's credit, he was more than ready to play. Afterward, his coach told me that he was happy to see Matt come back out on Saturday morning. He said that it says a lot about Matt's character and that I should be really proud of him.
Of course I am. He was very brave through everything on Friday night (I suspect in part because of the ice cream bribe I offered at the end of the procedure), he really enjoys playing baseball and is committed to his team. All great qualities for a seven-year old...
Now, if we could just do something about this family 'tradition' before next summer. I'm the only one in the family who's not had a visit to the ER. And I would really like to keep it that way.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
My little boy of summer
Without question, baseball is the preferred sport of the Cropp family. We watch it almost nightly from April through October thanks in large part to the Comcast Network. Comcast's presence in the State College market has saved me from the dreaded fate of most sports fans in central PA - a life watching (and then likely routing for) those teams from the "other" side of the state. That's how it was when I was a Penn State student in both the early and then late 90s.
I am certainly happy that my kids won't suffer that same fate.
Because we enjoy the sport so much, I was thrilled when Matt decided last winter to give baseball a try this spring.
Matt got hit not once, but twice, in his first little league game and that left him struggling at the plate for much of the season, his timing just a little off. Over the last three weeks though, his swing improved dramatically and he started getting hits. His confidence soared, and with it, his desire to keep playing after the season was over.
Time and time again, the coaches told us the best thing to do for Matt to improve his game was to get him playing as much as possible. So we signed up for extended season - an extra two weeks at the start of summer. We also let him try out for the summer tournament team, not because we expected he would make it, but because we thought the experience of trying out would be good for him and give him the motivation he'd need to work hard over the next year so that he might make the team next summer. To our surprise, little league decided to field three teams instead of two, and I've now become one of those moms I swore I would never be.
Tournament ball is a big commitment. Several practices each week, tournaments most weekends through July. It's one of those things I've feared as a parent... that I'd become one of those people who loads the family into the car each weekend, dropping hundreds of dollars on entry fees, transportation, hotels and meals out, all so my kids could pursue their athletic dreams.
But now that I am in the midst of it, I can't imagine making another choice. It's been such great fun to watch Matt's skills develop. He's got a pretty good sense of how to run the bases from all those summer nights watching the Phillies play. I've watched him watch those high fly balls until he's sure they aren't caught before he runs (while teammates often get tagged out because they don't get back to base in time when the ball is actually caught for an out). He's getting pretty good about knowing when he needs to cover a base even from the outfield; he's getting more and more grounders in his glove rather than watching them roll between his legs and he's one of the few kids on his team who will get the ball out of his hands as soon as it gets into them.
And quite honestly - it's fun to see him dream about a professional career even though we all know it's a LONG, LONG shot at best. My cousin Mike works for the Phils and has told me that he can get Matt an agent when the time comes... how cool would it be if we could really call him on that someday?
Here's one of my favorite conversations with Matt from not long ago:
Matt: I just know I am going to play professional baseball some day.
Me: That would be great, Matt. (Because if he does, I sure won't have to worry about what has been happening to my 401K lately.)
Matt: Mommy, will I have to sign a contract if I play for the Phillies?
Me: I think any team you might play for would ask you to sign a contract.
Matt: How old do I have to be before I can play?
Me: Well, that depends. Some kids get drafted out of high school and some get drafted while they are in college or after they've graduated. So probably between 18 and 22.
Matt: I think I will wait until I am 22.
Me: (thinking to myself - that's great... you'll graduate from college first!!!)
Matt: Mommy, will you still be alive when I am 22?
That's my boy. Nothing like a little dose of mortality to get me and my baseball dreams back down to earth.
In the meantime, I am planning to spend my summer nights and weekends at the ballfield cheering for my little guy.
And maybe some time in the back yard throwing grounders his way. Who knows... with a little luck and some good medical care, maybe I'll still be around when the kid is 22.
I am certainly happy that my kids won't suffer that same fate.
Because we enjoy the sport so much, I was thrilled when Matt decided last winter to give baseball a try this spring.
Matt got hit not once, but twice, in his first little league game and that left him struggling at the plate for much of the season, his timing just a little off. Over the last three weeks though, his swing improved dramatically and he started getting hits. His confidence soared, and with it, his desire to keep playing after the season was over.
Time and time again, the coaches told us the best thing to do for Matt to improve his game was to get him playing as much as possible. So we signed up for extended season - an extra two weeks at the start of summer. We also let him try out for the summer tournament team, not because we expected he would make it, but because we thought the experience of trying out would be good for him and give him the motivation he'd need to work hard over the next year so that he might make the team next summer. To our surprise, little league decided to field three teams instead of two, and I've now become one of those moms I swore I would never be.
Tournament ball is a big commitment. Several practices each week, tournaments most weekends through July. It's one of those things I've feared as a parent... that I'd become one of those people who loads the family into the car each weekend, dropping hundreds of dollars on entry fees, transportation, hotels and meals out, all so my kids could pursue their athletic dreams.
But now that I am in the midst of it, I can't imagine making another choice. It's been such great fun to watch Matt's skills develop. He's got a pretty good sense of how to run the bases from all those summer nights watching the Phillies play. I've watched him watch those high fly balls until he's sure they aren't caught before he runs (while teammates often get tagged out because they don't get back to base in time when the ball is actually caught for an out). He's getting pretty good about knowing when he needs to cover a base even from the outfield; he's getting more and more grounders in his glove rather than watching them roll between his legs and he's one of the few kids on his team who will get the ball out of his hands as soon as it gets into them.
And quite honestly - it's fun to see him dream about a professional career even though we all know it's a LONG, LONG shot at best. My cousin Mike works for the Phils and has told me that he can get Matt an agent when the time comes... how cool would it be if we could really call him on that someday?
Here's one of my favorite conversations with Matt from not long ago:
Matt: I just know I am going to play professional baseball some day.
Me: That would be great, Matt. (Because if he does, I sure won't have to worry about what has been happening to my 401K lately.)
Matt: Mommy, will I have to sign a contract if I play for the Phillies?
Me: I think any team you might play for would ask you to sign a contract.
Matt: How old do I have to be before I can play?
Me: Well, that depends. Some kids get drafted out of high school and some get drafted while they are in college or after they've graduated. So probably between 18 and 22.
Matt: I think I will wait until I am 22.
Me: (thinking to myself - that's great... you'll graduate from college first!!!)
Matt: Mommy, will you still be alive when I am 22?
That's my boy. Nothing like a little dose of mortality to get me and my baseball dreams back down to earth.
In the meantime, I am planning to spend my summer nights and weekends at the ballfield cheering for my little guy.
And maybe some time in the back yard throwing grounders his way. Who knows... with a little luck and some good medical care, maybe I'll still be around when the kid is 22.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
It really does take a village...
When Hillary Clinton was First Lady, she wrote a book called It Takes a Village. While I haven't read it, the title, and the idea that it takes a village to raise a child really resonate with me.
Earlier this year, a first grade student in the kid's elementary school, Koan Pantano, was diagnosed with leukemia. Since his diagnosis earlier this year, he's undergone several rounds of chemotherapy and just last week received the stem cell transplant that gives him his best chance of beating cancer.
I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like for him or his family, but when good friends of ours started to plan a fundraising event for the family that will help them with the expenses not covered by their health insurance or the unexpected expenses that come from constant travel between their younger children here in State College and their sick little boy in first Danville and now Hershey, I didn't hesitate to support their efforts.
I'm simply amazed by the generosity of this community. Our friends, the Hildebrands, set up a web site through "GoFundMe", and asked friends and family for donations. Their initial goal was to raise $5,000. To date, they've raised more than twice that.
They've also worked tirelessly to coordinate a 4K race, kids activities and a silent auction under the great name Kids4Koan. I love this idea... Koan's classmates and their families coming together to help a friend. On my first visit to the site, I read about how Koan's teacher placed a stuffed monkey in his seat to both help the other kids understand where Koan was and to hold his place until he returns to school. I cannot read (or write about) it without a tear running down my cheek.
I'm a runner, so of course I signed up for the race. In fact, the whole family did. Matt and Cathy aren't distance runners, so I envision the event will go something like this... sprint, huff, puff, walk. Sprint, huff, puff, walk. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. You get the idea.
Cathy, on the other hand, will only go through that cycle once or maybe twice before I expect her to turn toward me, extend her arms, and say "Mommy, can you please carry me?"
The other day, I spied a relatively unused jogging stroller in a neighbor's garage. So on race day, I plan to take that along to the park and set Cathy in it when she gets tired. This way, I should be able to finish in under an hour. Or at the very least, I'll have a legitimate shot at beating the boys!
Since I've worked with both Centre Volunteers in Medicine and the Bob Perks Fund's silent auctions in the past, I offered to help coordinate this part of the event. I've solicited donations in the past, so I was thrilled that other people were so happy and willing to go out and do that. Instead, I've organized bid sheets, bundled items, and will get the auction set up and closed down on race day.
I have no doubt that everyone who comes out to support Koan and the Pantano family will give generously and that the event will be a huge success... this family is living my worst nightmare and from what I hear they are doing it with courage and grace. When a child is sick, even when it's not your own, you hope and you pray for the strength that's needed for the fight. You hope that medicine has come far enough that this will be a bad memory in an otherwise long life.
Tonight, I also hope that Koan and his family sleep a little easier knowing that this "village" has their back in the one way it can.
So, come out and run. Or simply bring your checkbook and your own generosity.
Either way, I hope to see you on race day!
Earlier this year, a first grade student in the kid's elementary school, Koan Pantano, was diagnosed with leukemia. Since his diagnosis earlier this year, he's undergone several rounds of chemotherapy and just last week received the stem cell transplant that gives him his best chance of beating cancer.
I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like for him or his family, but when good friends of ours started to plan a fundraising event for the family that will help them with the expenses not covered by their health insurance or the unexpected expenses that come from constant travel between their younger children here in State College and their sick little boy in first Danville and now Hershey, I didn't hesitate to support their efforts.
I'm simply amazed by the generosity of this community. Our friends, the Hildebrands, set up a web site through "GoFundMe", and asked friends and family for donations. Their initial goal was to raise $5,000. To date, they've raised more than twice that.
They've also worked tirelessly to coordinate a 4K race, kids activities and a silent auction under the great name Kids4Koan. I love this idea... Koan's classmates and their families coming together to help a friend. On my first visit to the site, I read about how Koan's teacher placed a stuffed monkey in his seat to both help the other kids understand where Koan was and to hold his place until he returns to school. I cannot read (or write about) it without a tear running down my cheek.
I'm a runner, so of course I signed up for the race. In fact, the whole family did. Matt and Cathy aren't distance runners, so I envision the event will go something like this... sprint, huff, puff, walk. Sprint, huff, puff, walk. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. You get the idea.
Cathy, on the other hand, will only go through that cycle once or maybe twice before I expect her to turn toward me, extend her arms, and say "Mommy, can you please carry me?"
The other day, I spied a relatively unused jogging stroller in a neighbor's garage. So on race day, I plan to take that along to the park and set Cathy in it when she gets tired. This way, I should be able to finish in under an hour. Or at the very least, I'll have a legitimate shot at beating the boys!
Since I've worked with both Centre Volunteers in Medicine and the Bob Perks Fund's silent auctions in the past, I offered to help coordinate this part of the event. I've solicited donations in the past, so I was thrilled that other people were so happy and willing to go out and do that. Instead, I've organized bid sheets, bundled items, and will get the auction set up and closed down on race day.
I have no doubt that everyone who comes out to support Koan and the Pantano family will give generously and that the event will be a huge success... this family is living my worst nightmare and from what I hear they are doing it with courage and grace. When a child is sick, even when it's not your own, you hope and you pray for the strength that's needed for the fight. You hope that medicine has come far enough that this will be a bad memory in an otherwise long life.
Tonight, I also hope that Koan and his family sleep a little easier knowing that this "village" has their back in the one way it can.
So, come out and run. Or simply bring your checkbook and your own generosity.
Either way, I hope to see you on race day!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The 33rd annual Broad Street Run
Not long after I joined the Facebook community, I reconnected with an old friend...someone I've known most of my life. She was a middle-distance runner on our high school track team (back when I was a sprinter) and she'd found her way back to running. I found her posts inspiring and in part because of her, I started running again myself three years ago.
She not only helped me find my way back to running (and size 8 pants), but she also introduced me to the Broad Street Run, a terrific 10 mile run through downtown Philadelphia. This year was my second running this great race...
Having rejoined the work force at the beginning of April, and with kids playing baseball and soccer this spring, I struggled to find the time I needed to really train for the race. While I've finally settled into a morning routine (which has me up at 5:00 most mornings to run a few miles with a friend), I didn't log anywhere near the number of miles heading into this year's run that I would have liked. But, I was determined to give Broad Street my best effort.
Registration for this year's race sold out in less than five hours and thanks in part to a second chance lottery for those unable register, there were nearly 40 thousand runners on Broad Street today.
Race participants park down by the sports stadiums and ride the subway line to Olney. Only this year, the Sixers had a playoff game, closing the Wells Fargo Center parking lots. Extra traffic from extra runners and less parking made for a long wait to park once we got off I-95. And extra long lines to get on the subway. And extra runners swarming around the start lines. We didn't get to our starting corral until 8:20am (cutting things a little close for an 8:30 start).
Once the race got underway, I was reminded off all the reasons I love this run... crowds along all 10 miles of Broad Street cheering enthusiastically, bands (including a portion of the Temple marching band) along the way, little children eagerly high-fiving anyone willing to slap their hands.
One of my favorite sights - a spectator holding a sign that read "Worst Parade Ever". We actually saw it twice.
It wasn't an easy run for me, but I am happy to say that aside from walks while I drank water, I ran the entire distance (check out my Runkeeper post here). And I even did it faster than last year (not by much, but I'll take it). 1:35:48.
Last night before bed, Cathy told me to beat Daddy on our run... and I am happy to say that I got him by one second (he finished in 1:35:49). But only because he ran my pace. He was capable of running so much faster.
So, I ran the entire distance, and Rich didn't pass out. Guess that makes for a good day on Broad Street!
She not only helped me find my way back to running (and size 8 pants), but she also introduced me to the Broad Street Run, a terrific 10 mile run through downtown Philadelphia. This year was my second running this great race...
Having rejoined the work force at the beginning of April, and with kids playing baseball and soccer this spring, I struggled to find the time I needed to really train for the race. While I've finally settled into a morning routine (which has me up at 5:00 most mornings to run a few miles with a friend), I didn't log anywhere near the number of miles heading into this year's run that I would have liked. But, I was determined to give Broad Street my best effort.
Registration for this year's race sold out in less than five hours and thanks in part to a second chance lottery for those unable register, there were nearly 40 thousand runners on Broad Street today.
Race participants park down by the sports stadiums and ride the subway line to Olney. Only this year, the Sixers had a playoff game, closing the Wells Fargo Center parking lots. Extra traffic from extra runners and less parking made for a long wait to park once we got off I-95. And extra long lines to get on the subway. And extra runners swarming around the start lines. We didn't get to our starting corral until 8:20am (cutting things a little close for an 8:30 start).
Once the race got underway, I was reminded off all the reasons I love this run... crowds along all 10 miles of Broad Street cheering enthusiastically, bands (including a portion of the Temple marching band) along the way, little children eagerly high-fiving anyone willing to slap their hands.
One of my favorite sights - a spectator holding a sign that read "Worst Parade Ever". We actually saw it twice.
It wasn't an easy run for me, but I am happy to say that aside from walks while I drank water, I ran the entire distance (check out my Runkeeper post here). And I even did it faster than last year (not by much, but I'll take it). 1:35:48.
Last night before bed, Cathy told me to beat Daddy on our run... and I am happy to say that I got him by one second (he finished in 1:35:49). But only because he ran my pace. He was capable of running so much faster.
So, I ran the entire distance, and Rich didn't pass out. Guess that makes for a good day on Broad Street!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
A birthday wish for my sweet little girl!
Years ago, I was at my brother's best friend's wedding. In his best man's speech, Bob talked about how the bride and groom, Jen and Mike first met.
Jen's sister is Bob's wife. For what I 'believe' was a significant period of time, the two suggested that Mike should ask Jen out. And Mike's response went something like "It ain't gonna happen". But over time he changed his mind. Twelve years (and two kids) later they are still happily married.
Bob told Mike and Jen that their love story proves that sometimes the best things in life are the things you least expect.
I know that to be true.
With a history of infertility and a six month old baby at home, another baby was the furthest thing from my mind in the summer of 2005. But it seems God had a different plan for me than I had for myself.
In April of the following year, six years ago today, I first held one of the great loves of my life in my arms.
The years with Cathy have been filled with uncertainties and challenges. When she had her first seizure in my arms at five months, when she was tested for horrific, debilitating genetic syndromes at nine months, I imagined the absolute worst. And while I wouldn't wish that type of worry or heartache on my worst enemy, it gives me a perspective on life that might not otherwise be possible.
Instead of a child that is completely dependent on me for even the most basic 'activities of daily living', I have a bright, active little girl who laughs hysterically as she steals bases in kickball, who hugs her brother when he is hurt, who beams with pride when she reads a story to me, who is happy to snuggle up on my lap and watch Sid the Science Kid for the 100th time.
She is kind. And funny. And she continually amazes and inspires me. Every day is a blessing.
There have been trying moments over the years for sure, but there's not been a day in the last six years where I've felt anything other than lucky that she came into my life.
I keep asking Cathy if she could just stop growing. If she could stay my little peanut forever, but she tells me "No. I am growing every day."
Every day she's amazing. And today, I wish her the happiest of birthdays!!!
Jen's sister is Bob's wife. For what I 'believe' was a significant period of time, the two suggested that Mike should ask Jen out. And Mike's response went something like "It ain't gonna happen". But over time he changed his mind. Twelve years (and two kids) later they are still happily married.
Bob told Mike and Jen that their love story proves that sometimes the best things in life are the things you least expect.
I know that to be true.
With a history of infertility and a six month old baby at home, another baby was the furthest thing from my mind in the summer of 2005. But it seems God had a different plan for me than I had for myself.
 |
| April 11, 2006 |
The years with Cathy have been filled with uncertainties and challenges. When she had her first seizure in my arms at five months, when she was tested for horrific, debilitating genetic syndromes at nine months, I imagined the absolute worst. And while I wouldn't wish that type of worry or heartache on my worst enemy, it gives me a perspective on life that might not otherwise be possible.
Instead of a child that is completely dependent on me for even the most basic 'activities of daily living', I have a bright, active little girl who laughs hysterically as she steals bases in kickball, who hugs her brother when he is hurt, who beams with pride when she reads a story to me, who is happy to snuggle up on my lap and watch Sid the Science Kid for the 100th time.
She is kind. And funny. And she continually amazes and inspires me. Every day is a blessing.
 |
| Just a few weeks ago... |
I keep asking Cathy if she could just stop growing. If she could stay my little peanut forever, but she tells me "No. I am growing every day."
Every day she's amazing. And today, I wish her the happiest of birthdays!!!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Anxiety
A job. It's been something of a mythical figure in these parts for some time now. I've heard that they exist, that the economy is getting better, and yet it still seemed impossible to find. Kind of like the leprechaun and his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
There have been times that I looked hard and times that I hardly looked. And I have had what certainly feels like more than my share of rejection over the past 15 months.
When I was first laid off from my previous position in December 2010, I assumed that my investment career was over... sure, there was an opportunity with Merrill Lynch last summer but I just couldn't see myself selling. It might be great when the markets are performing well and everyone is making money, but what happens in the year when your clients lose half of everything they have.
I interviewed for several positions for which I had no real experience and maybe moderately transferable job skills. On more than one occasion I was told that 'we really liked you, but we had a candidate with years of direct experience'. I can't argue with that and I certainly couldn't compete with it.
In the end, I found a job. And it happened pretty much the way you hear most jobs happen... a friend knew of an opening at a local investment firm through a friend of his and mentioned me. He emailed to ask if I would mind if he sent in my resume (of course not). There was a phone interview, a lengthy sit-down interview, and then an offer.
Once I accepted the offer, Mommy panic set in.
What will I do with the kids after school? What will I do with them all summer long?
Turns out, that part wasn't as difficult as I expected... they'll spend three days a week with a neighbor across the street and the other two days with a babysitter (a second mom will get them off the bus and keep them until the sitter arrives). Yet another mom has offered to keep them before the bus comes on the mornings when nobody can take them to the bus stop. I live in a fantastic neighborhood with good friends and I am so, so very grateful for that.
Summer was pretty easy too. When I told the kids that I would be going back to work, they didn't tell me that they'd miss me. They asked if they could go to summer camp. Sure! Summer camp sounds great. I filled out paperwork and left $1,000 in deposits around town (which, considering I haven't earned even one paycheck yet was a little painful).
Next up - a more professional wardrobe. One of the best things about my former employer was the very casual dress code. While I would never have done this, I could have gone to work in sweat pants. After a week of shopping (which I quite frankly grew quite tired of), I've got enough work clothes to get me into the fall.
Now the real anxieties begin, the ones that I am sure will persist for a while.
I'm not worried about the job itself. It's with an investment company so it's familiar territory and I know that I'll learn the ins and outs of this job quickly and easily. Instead I'll worry about how the kids are making out at their friend's house or with the sitter. I'll worry about how I will get done all the things that I did during the day (and without the kids) now that I'll be out of the house 40+ hours each week. Things like laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning. While I'll do significantly less with Centre Volunteers in Medicine, I'll still have my role as Treasurer of the school PTO and co-leader of Cathy's Daisy Girl Scout Troop.
And then there are sports... Matt's playing baseball this spring (his first season) and practice time is often scheduled at 5pm. Inconvenient for any working parent in my opinion. And Cathy starts soccer after Easter. Add in scout meetings for both kids and it's going to be an adjustment at our house for sure...
Despite the anxieties, I am still excited. I am looking forward to getting back into the workforce. I love my kids and I am (mostly) grateful for the time I had with them, but I am not stay-at-home mom material.
This will ultimately be really good for me, and that in turn will be really good for them!
There have been times that I looked hard and times that I hardly looked. And I have had what certainly feels like more than my share of rejection over the past 15 months.
When I was first laid off from my previous position in December 2010, I assumed that my investment career was over... sure, there was an opportunity with Merrill Lynch last summer but I just couldn't see myself selling. It might be great when the markets are performing well and everyone is making money, but what happens in the year when your clients lose half of everything they have.
I interviewed for several positions for which I had no real experience and maybe moderately transferable job skills. On more than one occasion I was told that 'we really liked you, but we had a candidate with years of direct experience'. I can't argue with that and I certainly couldn't compete with it.
In the end, I found a job. And it happened pretty much the way you hear most jobs happen... a friend knew of an opening at a local investment firm through a friend of his and mentioned me. He emailed to ask if I would mind if he sent in my resume (of course not). There was a phone interview, a lengthy sit-down interview, and then an offer.
Once I accepted the offer, Mommy panic set in.
What will I do with the kids after school? What will I do with them all summer long?
Turns out, that part wasn't as difficult as I expected... they'll spend three days a week with a neighbor across the street and the other two days with a babysitter (a second mom will get them off the bus and keep them until the sitter arrives). Yet another mom has offered to keep them before the bus comes on the mornings when nobody can take them to the bus stop. I live in a fantastic neighborhood with good friends and I am so, so very grateful for that.
Summer was pretty easy too. When I told the kids that I would be going back to work, they didn't tell me that they'd miss me. They asked if they could go to summer camp. Sure! Summer camp sounds great. I filled out paperwork and left $1,000 in deposits around town (which, considering I haven't earned even one paycheck yet was a little painful).
Next up - a more professional wardrobe. One of the best things about my former employer was the very casual dress code. While I would never have done this, I could have gone to work in sweat pants. After a week of shopping (which I quite frankly grew quite tired of), I've got enough work clothes to get me into the fall.
Now the real anxieties begin, the ones that I am sure will persist for a while.
I'm not worried about the job itself. It's with an investment company so it's familiar territory and I know that I'll learn the ins and outs of this job quickly and easily. Instead I'll worry about how the kids are making out at their friend's house or with the sitter. I'll worry about how I will get done all the things that I did during the day (and without the kids) now that I'll be out of the house 40+ hours each week. Things like laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning. While I'll do significantly less with Centre Volunteers in Medicine, I'll still have my role as Treasurer of the school PTO and co-leader of Cathy's Daisy Girl Scout Troop.
And then there are sports... Matt's playing baseball this spring (his first season) and practice time is often scheduled at 5pm. Inconvenient for any working parent in my opinion. And Cathy starts soccer after Easter. Add in scout meetings for both kids and it's going to be an adjustment at our house for sure...
Despite the anxieties, I am still excited. I am looking forward to getting back into the workforce. I love my kids and I am (mostly) grateful for the time I had with them, but I am not stay-at-home mom material.
This will ultimately be really good for me, and that in turn will be really good for them!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Maryland Science Center
Of all the places we went over spring break, the Maryland Science Center was my favorite... located right on the Inner Harbor, we easily spent a full day here.
The MSC is closed on Monday - that's a large part of the reason we went back to the Franklin Institute, so we planned to spend Tuesday and Wednesday in Baltimore. Adult admission is $14.95; Children 12 and under are $11.95 each, a savings of just under $54 thanks to that Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership that I have been having such a good time using!
Many of the exhibits had a very general theme to them while others highlighted things that were specific to Maryland or the Chesapeake Bay.
We started off in Newton's Alley where we once again were able to explore many of the principle's we've learned about thanks to Sid the Science Kid (I really do love that show!). Pulleys, levers, vortexes, gravity, electricity. All in one very interactive room. This is a room we came back to several times and seemed to have the most fun playing tug of war. It's much easier on one particular side... if you want to know how that can be, you should go and check it out!
We watched a catapult launch rubber chickens at plastic laundry baskets... Angry Bird style, before heading upstairs for a while. Harry's Big Adventure is a limited exhibit and gave us the change to explore a house looking for various bugs - we founds roaches under the sink, bedbugs in the sheets, fleas in the dog's bed, and ants crawling through the kitchen window, not to mention the termite damage to the structure of the house. It was fun!
Your Body, the Inside Story was a place that we returned to several times simply because the kids got such a kick out of the bed of nails...
One of my favorites was Dinosaur Mysteries. Some life-size replicas of dinosaurs that would have lived in Maryland were included and there were many interactive activities. The kids were able to do dinosaur tracings, use computers to create their own dinosaurs (since there's no real proof what sort of coloring, markings, etc. dinosaurs have, the kids were able to imagine their own).
We took another shot at seeing a show in a planetarium - this one with a Sesame Street theme. This one went much better than the Franklin Institute's show on Black Holes and it held both kids interest the whole time.
Everyone had a chance to throw on lab coats and goggles and do a few experiments to determine what a few unknown powders were... things like baking soda and laundry soap. We tested to see whether things were acidic or basic, how they reacted to a solution being added (some bubbled, some didn't), etc. and were able to identify four powders. It was just like high school chemistry, minus the scary teacher and the high failure rate!
Overall, it was such a fun day... we stayed until the museum closed at 5:00pm then wondered around the Inner Harbor for a bit before meeting a college friend and her family for dinner at McCormick & Schmick's. Fantastic seafood and kids that behaved much better than I would have expected considering it was more formal a restaurant than we typically take them too.
Next up: A Surprise Destination...
The MSC is closed on Monday - that's a large part of the reason we went back to the Franklin Institute, so we planned to spend Tuesday and Wednesday in Baltimore. Adult admission is $14.95; Children 12 and under are $11.95 each, a savings of just under $54 thanks to that Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership that I have been having such a good time using!
 |
| Using a pulley. |
 |
| Clouds... or dry ice. |
We watched a catapult launch rubber chickens at plastic laundry baskets... Angry Bird style, before heading upstairs for a while. Harry's Big Adventure is a limited exhibit and gave us the change to explore a house looking for various bugs - we founds roaches under the sink, bedbugs in the sheets, fleas in the dog's bed, and ants crawling through the kitchen window, not to mention the termite damage to the structure of the house. It was fun!
Your Body, the Inside Story was a place that we returned to several times simply because the kids got such a kick out of the bed of nails...
Of course I tried this out too... I found it a little uncomfortable in my shoulders - something I am told many women seem to complain about. I'm going to guess it has something to do with the extra weight of my chest...
Aside from the bed of nails, the coolest thing for little kids is an exhibit of digestive sounds - swallowing, tummy grumbles, burping, farting, pooping. How could you not love it???
There's an exhibit called Follow the Blue Crab that didn't hold much appeal for the kids, though it was interesting to learn about how crabs develop and what sort of predators are a threat to them (seems I am one of them since I had crab for dinner Tuesday night... but that's another story).
One of my favorites was Dinosaur Mysteries. Some life-size replicas of dinosaurs that would have lived in Maryland were included and there were many interactive activities. The kids were able to do dinosaur tracings, use computers to create their own dinosaurs (since there's no real proof what sort of coloring, markings, etc. dinosaurs have, the kids were able to imagine their own). |
| This is a big one!!! |
We took another shot at seeing a show in a planetarium - this one with a Sesame Street theme. This one went much better than the Franklin Institute's show on Black Holes and it held both kids interest the whole time.
 |
| Experimenting... |
Overall, it was such a fun day... we stayed until the museum closed at 5:00pm then wondered around the Inner Harbor for a bit before meeting a college friend and her family for dinner at McCormick & Schmick's. Fantastic seafood and kids that behaved much better than I would have expected considering it was more formal a restaurant than we typically take them too.
 |
| Goofing off in the Inner Harbor! |
Next up: A Surprise Destination...
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
The Franklin Institute... part 2
After a day spent with family, we got back to the serious business of spring break... museums. At the kid's request, we spent Monday exploring the Franklin Institute (our first repeat destination since purchasing the Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership last summer).
Our first visit (you can read about it here) was last July - a day that was unexpectedly crowded. It seemed every day camp in the Philadelphia area had a field trip scheduled the day we visited, not to mention the five friends and two moms who joined us there. This time, it was significantly less crowded, which made for a much more enjoyable visit.
There were several areas of the museum we missed the first time around, including The Franklin Airshow, which does a nice job teaching about the principles of flight. We were able to sit in the cockpit of an Air Force plane, learn about the Bernoulli principle, try out wings in a wind tunnel, use wind to lift bottles and balls, and fly a simulated kite using two pulleys.
One thing I miss... when taking trips to the Franklin Institute when I was young, there used to be a plane outside the building that you could walk through. That would have been fun. But, that's still available at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington DC, so perhaps we'll have to plan a trip there again this summer...
The Giant Heart is also a favorite exhibit... though we were terribly disappointed that the 'scale' that lets us know how much blood we have in our bodies wasn't working. Individually, we each had six cups. Together? Six cups.
Instead, we rode bikes. We listened to noises to see how they might affect our heart rate - screaming making it go up, calm sounds keeping it low. And we went through the heart. Several times. I never grow tired of this part of the museum!
We went into the train room long enough to ride the Baldwin 60000. Matt and Cathy were the only kids on the train and so they were able to 'drive' it. Matt was the engineer, while Cathy was the fire person.
We also caught a show in the planetarium about black holes while we were downstairs. It was not the best choice for the kids... so if you have little ones under eight, I'd say skip this one and look for one that focuses on constellations instead.
Another highlight was being able to play more in the sports room... someplace that was just too crowded last time around. The kids raced wheelchairs, pitched balls, scored soccer goals, surfed, climbed a rock wall, tested their reflexes in starting a drag racing car, and compared their vertical leap to NBA players (we all stink in comparison).
One last highlight - also a new room for us was Sir Isaac's Loft. Cool optical illusions, and the contraption below. Something that reminds me of the lobby down at CHOP (a place I am happy to say I don't miss at all!!!) and that both Matt and Cathy seem drawn to whenever we see one.
Overall, a fun day. We stayed until closing and then hit the road for points south. We stopped in Wilmington for dinner - now the kids can say they've been in DE - and then drove on to our hotel in Baltimore.
Next up: The Maryland Science Center
Our first visit (you can read about it here) was last July - a day that was unexpectedly crowded. It seemed every day camp in the Philadelphia area had a field trip scheduled the day we visited, not to mention the five friends and two moms who joined us there. This time, it was significantly less crowded, which made for a much more enjoyable visit.
There were several areas of the museum we missed the first time around, including The Franklin Airshow, which does a nice job teaching about the principles of flight. We were able to sit in the cockpit of an Air Force plane, learn about the Bernoulli principle, try out wings in a wind tunnel, use wind to lift bottles and balls, and fly a simulated kite using two pulleys. 
One thing I miss... when taking trips to the Franklin Institute when I was young, there used to be a plane outside the building that you could walk through. That would have been fun. But, that's still available at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington DC, so perhaps we'll have to plan a trip there again this summer... |
| Flying the kite! |
The Giant Heart is also a favorite exhibit... though we were terribly disappointed that the 'scale' that lets us know how much blood we have in our bodies wasn't working. Individually, we each had six cups. Together? Six cups.
Instead, we rode bikes. We listened to noises to see how they might affect our heart rate - screaming making it go up, calm sounds keeping it low. And we went through the heart. Several times. I never grow tired of this part of the museum!
We went into the train room long enough to ride the Baldwin 60000. Matt and Cathy were the only kids on the train and so they were able to 'drive' it. Matt was the engineer, while Cathy was the fire person. We also caught a show in the planetarium about black holes while we were downstairs. It was not the best choice for the kids... so if you have little ones under eight, I'd say skip this one and look for one that focuses on constellations instead.
Another highlight was being able to play more in the sports room... someplace that was just too crowded last time around. The kids raced wheelchairs, pitched balls, scored soccer goals, surfed, climbed a rock wall, tested their reflexes in starting a drag racing car, and compared their vertical leap to NBA players (we all stink in comparison).Cathy even posed with her favorite baseball player!
One last highlight - also a new room for us was Sir Isaac's Loft. Cool optical illusions, and the contraption below. Something that reminds me of the lobby down at CHOP (a place I am happy to say I don't miss at all!!!) and that both Matt and Cathy seem drawn to whenever we see one.
Overall, a fun day. We stayed until closing and then hit the road for points south. We stopped in Wilmington for dinner - now the kids can say they've been in DE - and then drove on to our hotel in Baltimore.
Next up: The Maryland Science Center
Saturday, March 10, 2012
DaVinci Science Center
The DaVinci Science Center is located in Allentown (on the campus of Cedar Crest College). Despite having parents that live only 20 minutes, I had no idea that it was there until I found it on the list of reciprocal Science and Technology Centers.
The museum is open from 9:30am to 5:00pm Monday through Saturday, noon to 5:00pm on Sunday. Adult admission is $11.95 and $8.95 for children 4-12. The Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership saved us $41.80.
Among the highlights:
The kids were able to pet a snake.
We went through a 'vision tunnel' where you could not see a thing, giving everyone a good sense of what it would be like to be blind and an appreciation for that fact that while most of us have terrible vision, we can still see.
Everyone had a chance to build a bridge out of paper and then test it using a group of washers. We learned that paper becomes much stronger as it's folded than it is as a flat sheet of paper.
And speaking of paper, there was a station that provided step-by-step instructions for building a number of paper airplanes. I'm embarrassed to say that many seemed to complex for me, though I was able to build a plane that soared pretty well. After watching another family toss their plane from the second floor down to the first, Matt and Cathy must have done it a dozen times.
Cathy has an obsession with Sid the Science Kid. One of our more recent videos deals with levers and pulleys and we had a chance to learn more about each of those things here.
The kids were fascinated by a display that included a thin sheet of frozen water, a powerful magnifying glass and a tube of water. It was fun to look at the ice crystals, melt it, then watch it freeze again.
There is a fairly cool weather display - videos that talk about different types of weather - hurricanes, tornadoes, snowstorms - and a chance to do a weather forecast.
One surprise - the museum is currently featuring Keva planks for building and designing various construction projects. I was sure the kids would spend a lot of time at the exhibit, but they lingered for just a few moments before moving on to other things.
Overall, it was a fun way to pass a few hours. And with a ASTC membership, I'd go back again on another trip to SE PA.
Next up: The Franklin Institute.
The museum is open from 9:30am to 5:00pm Monday through Saturday, noon to 5:00pm on Sunday. Adult admission is $11.95 and $8.95 for children 4-12. The Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership saved us $41.80.
Among the highlights:
The kids were able to pet a snake.
We went through a 'vision tunnel' where you could not see a thing, giving everyone a good sense of what it would be like to be blind and an appreciation for that fact that while most of us have terrible vision, we can still see.
Everyone had a chance to build a bridge out of paper and then test it using a group of washers. We learned that paper becomes much stronger as it's folded than it is as a flat sheet of paper.
And speaking of paper, there was a station that provided step-by-step instructions for building a number of paper airplanes. I'm embarrassed to say that many seemed to complex for me, though I was able to build a plane that soared pretty well. After watching another family toss their plane from the second floor down to the first, Matt and Cathy must have done it a dozen times.
Cathy has an obsession with Sid the Science Kid. One of our more recent videos deals with levers and pulleys and we had a chance to learn more about each of those things here.
The kids were fascinated by a display that included a thin sheet of frozen water, a powerful magnifying glass and a tube of water. It was fun to look at the ice crystals, melt it, then watch it freeze again.
There is a fairly cool weather display - videos that talk about different types of weather - hurricanes, tornadoes, snowstorms - and a chance to do a weather forecast.
One surprise - the museum is currently featuring Keva planks for building and designing various construction projects. I was sure the kids would spend a lot of time at the exhibit, but they lingered for just a few moments before moving on to other things.
Overall, it was a fun way to pass a few hours. And with a ASTC membership, I'd go back again on another trip to SE PA.
Next up: The Franklin Institute.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Spring Break...
One of the perks (if you want to call it that) of living in a college town is that the school district schedules a spring break to coincide with the university's break. Mind you, unless you are a professor at the university or an employee of the school district, all spring break means is that you are going to shell out cash for child care or use up vacation days to stay home with your kids.
If you know anything at all about me, you know that I don't sit at home with the kids all that well, so it should come as no surprise that we loaded up the car and got out of town for a few days.
The idea went something like this... 'let's hit the DaVinci Science Center up in Allentown. It's covered by our Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership (man, are we getting our money's worth out of that thing). We'll spend a night with Grammy, head into the city to deliver all those girl scout cookies Cathy sold at Christmas time on Sunday, go to the Franklin Institute (covered) on Monday, and then drive to Baltimore. Once we get to Baltimore, we can go to Port Discovery Children's Museum (covered) one day and the Maryland Science Center (covered) the other.'
No doubt it was an ambitious plan and we did everything on the list.
We had dinner with a college friend and her family on Tuesday night. And on Wednesday morning, we got a phone call from her husband asking if we'd be interested in using his firm's corporate membership to check out the National Aquarium. Never one to turn down an opportunity to do something new, we jumped at the chance.
The trip was so much fun... and exhausting. And, it looks like I'll have five blog posts to write instead of just four.
Stay tuned...
If you know anything at all about me, you know that I don't sit at home with the kids all that well, so it should come as no surprise that we loaded up the car and got out of town for a few days.
The idea went something like this... 'let's hit the DaVinci Science Center up in Allentown. It's covered by our Pittsburgh Children's Museum membership (man, are we getting our money's worth out of that thing). We'll spend a night with Grammy, head into the city to deliver all those girl scout cookies Cathy sold at Christmas time on Sunday, go to the Franklin Institute (covered) on Monday, and then drive to Baltimore. Once we get to Baltimore, we can go to Port Discovery Children's Museum (covered) one day and the Maryland Science Center (covered) the other.'
No doubt it was an ambitious plan and we did everything on the list.
We had dinner with a college friend and her family on Tuesday night. And on Wednesday morning, we got a phone call from her husband asking if we'd be interested in using his firm's corporate membership to check out the National Aquarium. Never one to turn down an opportunity to do something new, we jumped at the chance.
The trip was so much fun... and exhausting. And, it looks like I'll have five blog posts to write instead of just four.
Stay tuned...
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Back to the Basics...
When I started the blog last summer, I was a stay-at-home mom looking for a way to maintain my sanity through my first summer without a job since I was in high school. That's not as long ago as my friend Jaime likes to think, but it was still a long time ago. The idea was that the kids and I would spend the summer finding fun, memorable ways to spend our days, then I would write about it here... what we did, how we liked it, that sort of thing.
Putting both kids on the school bus last fall certainly cut down on the number of things I've done with the kids, but it didn't put an end to our adventures. While we aren't running around at the same pace we did all summer, we made it to the Lancaster Science Factory, ExpERIEnce Children's Museum, the Academy of Natural Sciences last fall.
I just didn't write about them.
But we're rolling into spring break and that means road trip... and a week or so where I'll head back to the origin of the blog. While not set in stone, I think we'll be off to the Da Vinci Science Center in Allentown, the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, Port Discovery (a children's museum in Baltimore) and the Maryland Science Center.
It should be a fun trip and I am looking forward to exploring some places we have never been.
And who knows... once I blog about the week, maybe I'll go back and blog about those neglected excursions from last fall.
Putting both kids on the school bus last fall certainly cut down on the number of things I've done with the kids, but it didn't put an end to our adventures. While we aren't running around at the same pace we did all summer, we made it to the Lancaster Science Factory, ExpERIEnce Children's Museum, the Academy of Natural Sciences last fall.
I just didn't write about them.
But we're rolling into spring break and that means road trip... and a week or so where I'll head back to the origin of the blog. While not set in stone, I think we'll be off to the Da Vinci Science Center in Allentown, the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, Port Discovery (a children's museum in Baltimore) and the Maryland Science Center.
It should be a fun trip and I am looking forward to exploring some places we have never been.
And who knows... once I blog about the week, maybe I'll go back and blog about those neglected excursions from last fall.
Friday, February 10, 2012
THON
Just as Penn Staters came together in late January to say good-bye to Joe Paterno, they will soon come together again to support a cause that was important to him. They will come together--15,000 volunteers, 700 dancers, and countless others cheering in the stands--with the hopes of saying good-bye to childhood cancer. It's one of the things that makes me most proud to be an alumna of this university.
The Penn State IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon, more commonly known as THON, is a year-long student-run effort to fight pediatric cancer. Monies raised go to support the Four Diamonds Fund at the Penn State Hershey Medical Center.
For those unfamiliar with THON, the capstone event is a 46-hour 'dance' (and I use this term lightly, as it's really anything BUT a dance) taking place on the University Park campus next weekend. The students raise funds throughout the year, from a 5K race on campus that draws thousands of participants to canning weekends, to door-to-door solicitations throughout this community. Thousands work tirelessly to market the event, secure corporate sponsorship and donations, coordinate facilities, and support the dancers during THON weekend.
Though it wasn't really the case when I was an undergraduate here, THON is truly a part of the Penn State experience. Roughly one in three students has some type of involvement with the event.
"When they say 'We are Penn State', this is what they are talking about." - Joe Paterno at THON
THON has become the largest student-run philanthropy in the country and it's something that all Penn Staters can be proud of. Especially at a time where everyone is pointing their fingers at Penn State, constantly rehashing the Sandusky scandal. Over time, the world will see that it's not something like the horrific revelations of last fall that define this university, but it's students selflessly and tirelessly working for a common and most worthwhile cause, working for children and families they've never met. Doing it For The Kids.
I recently saw a statistic that one in five children diagnosed with cancer will die. One in five. When you think about the mortality rate of adult cancers, one in five does not sound bad. There are many cancers for which that sort of mortality rate would be considered a great success. But even one child is one too many. It's why Penn Staters come together each year to work toward a cure.
As an undergraduate, I was a member of the Student Nurses Association of Pennsylvania (SNAP). We learned in the fall of 1992 that our organization would get four spots for dancers in the February 1993 THON event. All we needed to do was raise $480 per couple. That's just $10 for each hour we'd be on our feet (the event used to be a 48-hour one). I assumed my classmates would jump at the opportunity, if for no other reason than the fact that we had done our pediatric clinical rotation in Hershey. We saw these kids, cared for them, watched them in their fight with cancer. It took on a more personal meaning.
While it took a little begging and pleading, I managed to recruit three others to dance with me and the four of us became the first representatives of the student nursing group at THON.
It was a long, sometimes difficult weekend. The exhaustion of standing on your feet for 48 hours is so much greater than anything I have ever experienced, including having two babies in a 15-month span of time. It's one of my best Penn State experiences and I have many great memories.
Here are just a few:
The night before... the Tavern Restaurant opened its doors to all THON dancers with an all-you-can eat pasta night at a really great price. I remember sitting with the other three SNAP dancers talking about all the gory things we'd seen as nursing students. One friend was talking about packing a wound as another wound her fettuccine alfredo around her fork. Without missing a beat, she holds out her fork, covered in that thick, white sauce and says "but was it pussy?"
Location, location, location... THON certainly wasn't the big deal it is now 20 years ago. It was held in a gym in White Building, there were small bleachers which were often packed (especially at 2:00am when the bars closed down), but nothing like the 15,000 who fill the stands of Bryce Jordan Center these days. We made our own banners to be hung on the wall (and we did this while sitting at the Shandygaff on a SLOW Tuesday night while our pal Scott played some great 80s music). Our drunk friends came in to visit each night after the bars closed. Dancers were separated from spectators by that flimsy plastic you see on the side of the road in winter time. As THON grew, it's location changed twice. And while I think the environment of BJC and the enthusiasm of all the students cheering from their seats is fantastic, nothing can top the intimate feel of White Building for me!
Powder slides... there were regularly scheduled bathroom breaks during THON weekend. They'd call us by our dancer numbers, we'd stand in line, do our business and then we'd head back out to the gym floor by running across the floor, sliding onto our bellies, and lining up in a row. Volunteers would massage all the achy parts we had before we were back on our feet again. Believe me when I say toward the end, you ached EVERYWHERE and couldn't care less who was touching you or where.
Line dance... I think the song was Move Every Mountain... something that we were taught movements to in the first couple of hours of THON; it was cued up hourly for the remainder of the weekend and gave us a much needed burst of energy. In all honesty, I like the way the dance is done now much better. A group comes together and writes a 'song' about everything that happened in the world over the past year, continually brings it back to the idea that they are doing it "FTK" or "For the kids", and then adds movements. If you search on Youtube for THON line dances, you can see years past.
Family hour... this is traditionally the last hour of THON and it's the hour when Four Diamonds' families come on stage and share their stories. Many are about kids currently in treatment, about what THON means to them. Some do not end in happily ever after. But every story is beautiful in its own way. They tell stories of hope and gratitude and sometimes heartbreak. I cried through all of them. But hearing them made me feel so good about what I had just done for them.
The final tally... the most anticipated moment of any THON is the moment they share the total amount raised. It's the very last thing they do. One by one they flip over cards showing the dollar amount. $1,336,173.59... only the second time THON raised more than $1 million and it was a record that stood for four years. They raised more than seven times that amount last year.
Going home... when it was all said and done, I'd been awake for roughly 55 straight hours. My first stop when I got back to my apartment was the shower. Only I was too tired to stand, so I sat. And fell asleep there. My roommate made me something to eat and then I crashed. I'd made the mistake of scheduling an all-day nursing conference at 8:00 the next morning. While I managed to get out to the hospital and sit in the lecture room, I nodded off on several times and even apologized to the speaker during a break. Luckily for me, she totally understood.
In 1999, THON moved to Rec Hall and in 2007, the 35th anniversary of THON, it moved to its current home at the Bryce Jordan Center. They've added nearly 200 dancers since the year I danced. And they've quite simply become a fundraising machine. Last year's amount, $9,563,016.09, broke the previous record by roughly $1.5 million and there's every reason to expect that this is the year the event could surpass $10 million. Because the students volunteer their time and talents and solicit donations from local and national businesses, virtually every penny they raise goes directly to the Four Diamonds Fund.
In turn, the fund provides financial assistance to families with a child undergoing treatment for cancer, covering expenses that insurance does not. The fund also supports much needed research to find a cure through the Four Diamonds Pediatric Cancer Research Institute.
For this year's dancers, I would say this... really listen to the families when they talk and pay attention to them as they move around the floor throughout the weekend. They are a great reminder of why you are there and they'll inspire you and give you the strength to continue when you can't imagine how you can possibly stay on your feet another minute.
Wear your most comfortable pair of shoes and change your socks. Often.
And stay in bed Monday morning. Catch up on your sleep. There's no doubt you will have earned it!
The Penn State IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon, more commonly known as THON, is a year-long student-run effort to fight pediatric cancer. Monies raised go to support the Four Diamonds Fund at the Penn State Hershey Medical Center.
For those unfamiliar with THON, the capstone event is a 46-hour 'dance' (and I use this term lightly, as it's really anything BUT a dance) taking place on the University Park campus next weekend. The students raise funds throughout the year, from a 5K race on campus that draws thousands of participants to canning weekends, to door-to-door solicitations throughout this community. Thousands work tirelessly to market the event, secure corporate sponsorship and donations, coordinate facilities, and support the dancers during THON weekend.
Though it wasn't really the case when I was an undergraduate here, THON is truly a part of the Penn State experience. Roughly one in three students has some type of involvement with the event.
"When they say 'We are Penn State', this is what they are talking about." - Joe Paterno at THON
THON has become the largest student-run philanthropy in the country and it's something that all Penn Staters can be proud of. Especially at a time where everyone is pointing their fingers at Penn State, constantly rehashing the Sandusky scandal. Over time, the world will see that it's not something like the horrific revelations of last fall that define this university, but it's students selflessly and tirelessly working for a common and most worthwhile cause, working for children and families they've never met. Doing it For The Kids.
I recently saw a statistic that one in five children diagnosed with cancer will die. One in five. When you think about the mortality rate of adult cancers, one in five does not sound bad. There are many cancers for which that sort of mortality rate would be considered a great success. But even one child is one too many. It's why Penn Staters come together each year to work toward a cure.
As an undergraduate, I was a member of the Student Nurses Association of Pennsylvania (SNAP). We learned in the fall of 1992 that our organization would get four spots for dancers in the February 1993 THON event. All we needed to do was raise $480 per couple. That's just $10 for each hour we'd be on our feet (the event used to be a 48-hour one). I assumed my classmates would jump at the opportunity, if for no other reason than the fact that we had done our pediatric clinical rotation in Hershey. We saw these kids, cared for them, watched them in their fight with cancer. It took on a more personal meaning.
While it took a little begging and pleading, I managed to recruit three others to dance with me and the four of us became the first representatives of the student nursing group at THON.
It was a long, sometimes difficult weekend. The exhaustion of standing on your feet for 48 hours is so much greater than anything I have ever experienced, including having two babies in a 15-month span of time. It's one of my best Penn State experiences and I have many great memories.
Here are just a few:
The night before... the Tavern Restaurant opened its doors to all THON dancers with an all-you-can eat pasta night at a really great price. I remember sitting with the other three SNAP dancers talking about all the gory things we'd seen as nursing students. One friend was talking about packing a wound as another wound her fettuccine alfredo around her fork. Without missing a beat, she holds out her fork, covered in that thick, white sauce and says "but was it pussy?"
Location, location, location... THON certainly wasn't the big deal it is now 20 years ago. It was held in a gym in White Building, there were small bleachers which were often packed (especially at 2:00am when the bars closed down), but nothing like the 15,000 who fill the stands of Bryce Jordan Center these days. We made our own banners to be hung on the wall (and we did this while sitting at the Shandygaff on a SLOW Tuesday night while our pal Scott played some great 80s music). Our drunk friends came in to visit each night after the bars closed. Dancers were separated from spectators by that flimsy plastic you see on the side of the road in winter time. As THON grew, it's location changed twice. And while I think the environment of BJC and the enthusiasm of all the students cheering from their seats is fantastic, nothing can top the intimate feel of White Building for me!
Powder slides... there were regularly scheduled bathroom breaks during THON weekend. They'd call us by our dancer numbers, we'd stand in line, do our business and then we'd head back out to the gym floor by running across the floor, sliding onto our bellies, and lining up in a row. Volunteers would massage all the achy parts we had before we were back on our feet again. Believe me when I say toward the end, you ached EVERYWHERE and couldn't care less who was touching you or where.
Line dance... I think the song was Move Every Mountain... something that we were taught movements to in the first couple of hours of THON; it was cued up hourly for the remainder of the weekend and gave us a much needed burst of energy. In all honesty, I like the way the dance is done now much better. A group comes together and writes a 'song' about everything that happened in the world over the past year, continually brings it back to the idea that they are doing it "FTK" or "For the kids", and then adds movements. If you search on Youtube for THON line dances, you can see years past.
Family hour... this is traditionally the last hour of THON and it's the hour when Four Diamonds' families come on stage and share their stories. Many are about kids currently in treatment, about what THON means to them. Some do not end in happily ever after. But every story is beautiful in its own way. They tell stories of hope and gratitude and sometimes heartbreak. I cried through all of them. But hearing them made me feel so good about what I had just done for them.
The final tally... the most anticipated moment of any THON is the moment they share the total amount raised. It's the very last thing they do. One by one they flip over cards showing the dollar amount. $1,336,173.59... only the second time THON raised more than $1 million and it was a record that stood for four years. They raised more than seven times that amount last year.
Going home... when it was all said and done, I'd been awake for roughly 55 straight hours. My first stop when I got back to my apartment was the shower. Only I was too tired to stand, so I sat. And fell asleep there. My roommate made me something to eat and then I crashed. I'd made the mistake of scheduling an all-day nursing conference at 8:00 the next morning. While I managed to get out to the hospital and sit in the lecture room, I nodded off on several times and even apologized to the speaker during a break. Luckily for me, she totally understood.
In 1999, THON moved to Rec Hall and in 2007, the 35th anniversary of THON, it moved to its current home at the Bryce Jordan Center. They've added nearly 200 dancers since the year I danced. And they've quite simply become a fundraising machine. Last year's amount, $9,563,016.09, broke the previous record by roughly $1.5 million and there's every reason to expect that this is the year the event could surpass $10 million. Because the students volunteer their time and talents and solicit donations from local and national businesses, virtually every penny they raise goes directly to the Four Diamonds Fund.
In turn, the fund provides financial assistance to families with a child undergoing treatment for cancer, covering expenses that insurance does not. The fund also supports much needed research to find a cure through the Four Diamonds Pediatric Cancer Research Institute.
For this year's dancers, I would say this... really listen to the families when they talk and pay attention to them as they move around the floor throughout the weekend. They are a great reminder of why you are there and they'll inspire you and give you the strength to continue when you can't imagine how you can possibly stay on your feet another minute.
Wear your most comfortable pair of shoes and change your socks. Often.
And stay in bed Monday morning. Catch up on your sleep. There's no doubt you will have earned it!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Resolutions
At year end, everyone inevitability starts to talk about resolutions. It seems there's no better time to plan some positive change in life than at the start of a new year. For as long as I can remember, I've told people that my resolution is to not make resolutions. And for the most part, I've done a pretty good job of sticking with it.
This year, I broke with tradition. I vowed to give up soda (even though I only drink diet). There are plenty of well-known reasons to do this: it's acidic, it can lead to brittle bones, wear down the enamel of teeth, and lead to obesity. It's loaded with caffeine and is likely a direct contributor to my inability to sleep at night. All bad things.
This 'resolution' lasted for just a week or so... I was out to lunch, looking over the menu, when a waitress asked what I wanted to drink. Out of habit, I replied "Diet Pepsi." The resolution was in serious jeopardy.
So I quickly modified the plan. I would only drink soda outside of my house. It's not a perfect plan, but I figured it would be better than nothing.
Well, that didn't last too long either. A week or so later, a friend mentioned something about Dr. Pepper 10. Being a fan of the both the full-calorie and diet versions, it sounded like something I should try... only you can't find it out in a restaurant (at least not yet). When I was at the grocery store, I slipped it into the shopping cart and haven't looked back since.
You see, once you start down the slippery slope of New Year's Resolution compromise... well, it's hard to turn back.
So, what's a girl to do?
Perhaps I should just continue to resolve NOT to make resolutions. If I don't make a promise, I can't break it as easily as I broke this one.
Still, there are changes that I would like to make this year. Only, I won't call them 'resolutions'. They're simply things I hope will be better this year than last.
Some are fairly simple - like running. When I started running almost three years ago, I quickly learned that I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. That's a huge advantage for a girl who likes ice cream and lives in close proximity to both Meyer's Dairy and the Penn State Creamery (where Ben & Jerry learned to make ice cream way back in 1974).
Outside of good shoes and warm gloves, there are just two things I need to run.
First, I need accountability. That's easiest with a running partner and I've been lucky to find a few good ones over the years. But I don't have someone to run with every day and so I post all of my running activities to Facebook. As long as people know that I run and expect me to go out and do it, I find that I can tie on my shoes and head out even on the days I just don't feel like it.
I also need a goal - something to train for. This year I am looking at several races: the Broad Street Run (May), the always fun, dirty Warrior Dash (June), the Perk Up Half Marathon (August), and the Hershey Half Marathon (October) are on my agenda, with some shorter distances sprinkled throughout the year for good measure. These races will guide my training and dictate the mileage I run each week. But even in my slow months (like now), I'd simply like to get out a little more frequently and cover a little more distance each week.
I mention this not just because I would like to focus more on running this year (though I do want to focus more on my running this year), but because accountability and goals are important to me. They keep me focused.
For as simple as my running goals are, there are others swirling in my mind that are much more complex, less tangible, harder to measure. And that's where I'll put my efforts this year. After all, eliminating diet soda seemed like a great idea, but at the end of the day, it didn't really make me happy... I had headaches. I was cranky. I missed my caffeine fix (so I switched to tea and countless packs of Sweet'N Low).
Over the next few weeks or months, I promise to revisit the topic, to let you know what it is that I need out of the new year and how I am going to get it... goals and accountability. Because once I put it out there, I'll make it happen.
This year, I broke with tradition. I vowed to give up soda (even though I only drink diet). There are plenty of well-known reasons to do this: it's acidic, it can lead to brittle bones, wear down the enamel of teeth, and lead to obesity. It's loaded with caffeine and is likely a direct contributor to my inability to sleep at night. All bad things.
This 'resolution' lasted for just a week or so... I was out to lunch, looking over the menu, when a waitress asked what I wanted to drink. Out of habit, I replied "Diet Pepsi." The resolution was in serious jeopardy.
So I quickly modified the plan. I would only drink soda outside of my house. It's not a perfect plan, but I figured it would be better than nothing.
Well, that didn't last too long either. A week or so later, a friend mentioned something about Dr. Pepper 10. Being a fan of the both the full-calorie and diet versions, it sounded like something I should try... only you can't find it out in a restaurant (at least not yet). When I was at the grocery store, I slipped it into the shopping cart and haven't looked back since.
You see, once you start down the slippery slope of New Year's Resolution compromise... well, it's hard to turn back.
So, what's a girl to do?
Perhaps I should just continue to resolve NOT to make resolutions. If I don't make a promise, I can't break it as easily as I broke this one.
Still, there are changes that I would like to make this year. Only, I won't call them 'resolutions'. They're simply things I hope will be better this year than last.
Some are fairly simple - like running. When I started running almost three years ago, I quickly learned that I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. That's a huge advantage for a girl who likes ice cream and lives in close proximity to both Meyer's Dairy and the Penn State Creamery (where Ben & Jerry learned to make ice cream way back in 1974).
Outside of good shoes and warm gloves, there are just two things I need to run.
First, I need accountability. That's easiest with a running partner and I've been lucky to find a few good ones over the years. But I don't have someone to run with every day and so I post all of my running activities to Facebook. As long as people know that I run and expect me to go out and do it, I find that I can tie on my shoes and head out even on the days I just don't feel like it.
I also need a goal - something to train for. This year I am looking at several races: the Broad Street Run (May), the always fun, dirty Warrior Dash (June), the Perk Up Half Marathon (August), and the Hershey Half Marathon (October) are on my agenda, with some shorter distances sprinkled throughout the year for good measure. These races will guide my training and dictate the mileage I run each week. But even in my slow months (like now), I'd simply like to get out a little more frequently and cover a little more distance each week.
I mention this not just because I would like to focus more on running this year (though I do want to focus more on my running this year), but because accountability and goals are important to me. They keep me focused.
For as simple as my running goals are, there are others swirling in my mind that are much more complex, less tangible, harder to measure. And that's where I'll put my efforts this year. After all, eliminating diet soda seemed like a great idea, but at the end of the day, it didn't really make me happy... I had headaches. I was cranky. I missed my caffeine fix (so I switched to tea and countless packs of Sweet'N Low).
Over the next few weeks or months, I promise to revisit the topic, to let you know what it is that I need out of the new year and how I am going to get it... goals and accountability. Because once I put it out there, I'll make it happen.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Goodbye, Coach.
I remember watching Joe Paterno's 400th win with my kids back in November 2010. As the final seconds ticked off the clock, I told them to really watch, to remember the moment. I let them know that they were about to witness something special. Something that they'd likely not see again in their lifetime. These days, coaches come and go in college sports, always looking for the bigger payday. The higher profile position.
But not Joe Paterno. He came to Penn State as an assistant coach in 1950 and never left, despite numerous offers to coach in the NFL. As his family said today "his ambitions were far reaching, but he never believed he had to leave this Happy Valley to achieve them."
For forty-six years, he led my beloved Nittany Lions onto the playing field. It seems both ironic and tragic that his 409th victory, the one that secured his place as the winningest head coach in Division I history, came just a week before the scandal that rocked Penn State, that brought the most improbable, unimaginable end to a legendary career.
Joe Paterno became a legend here because he did things the right way. He was a teacher before he was a coach. He made sure that the boys that came to play for him went to class, earned their degrees, became men. I think it was clear though the hundreds of tributes from former players today that they felt they were better husbands, fathers, and leaders because of him and I have no doubt that it is true.
As the scandal unfolded and has continued to endure, I've often thought back to my friend Jessica's blog, When You Know It's Poop, published back in mid-November.
There is no doubt that Joe Paterno is a great man. He is not Jesus. He is not infallible. But he’s better than most of us—and he’s been that way for a long, long time."
When I read through Paterno's Washington Post interview it was with a heavy heart. I imagine it must have been a terrible burden for him to live his final days being judged so harshly by so many. To have a lifetime of achievement and philanthropy disregarded by so many as if it were Paterno himself accused of child molestation.
Many seem to take Paterno's statement that "With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more." as some admission of culpability. I don't. Who among us wouldn't wonder if we could have done more to make a difference? I think it simply makes him human.
I hope with time, people can see that Joe Paterno did or did not do what many of us would have done or not done in similar circumstances. That they'd stop holding him to a higher standard than they'd hold themselves to. I hope that with time, this scandal doesn't define him as deeply as it did in his final days. That his lifetime of good deeds and accomplishments carries the weight it deserves.
Joe Paterno leaves a legacy... to his wife, Sue, he was her soul mate, and together they had five children and 17 grandchildren to whom he was "a shining example of how to live a good, decent and honest life". As I read this in the Paterno family's statement today, I thought that's really all we can hope for in life and for that alone, he was a lucky man.
But, his legacy is also everywhere I looked today. When Coach Paterno came to State College in 1950, Penn State was an agricultural school in the middle of nowhere. And while we are still in the middle of nowhere, he put this town and this college on the map. There were less than 10,000 students here in 1950. Today, there are nearly five times that number at the University Park campus and nearly ten times that number throughout the Commonwealth. We are an internationally known and respected research university.
Beaver Stadium expanded six times during his tenure here, more than doubling in size and currently seating over 106,000. Because of its success, the football program supports many of Penn State's other athletic programs.
Inside the sports museum, there are two national championship trophies.
There is a wing of the library named after Joe Paterno, he and his wife donated to the spiritual center and the soon-to-be completed Suzanne Pohland Paterno Catholic Student Faith Center. He's donated a significant amount of money to the Mount Nittany Medical Center, which is currently undergoing an ambitious expansion. They've also supported countless other local charities.
My community is a much better place because Joe Paterno lived here. This is a part of his legacy.
There's a statue of Joe Paterno that sits in the shadows of Beaver Stadium. I've run past it many times. But it wasn't until today that I really stopped to consider the words that are printed there... a quote from Joe Paterno from more than a decade ago.
"They ask me what I'd like written about me when I'm gone. I hope they write I made Penn State a better place, not just that I was a good football coach."
My wish for you tonight, Coach Paterno, is that you are resting now in peace in the arms of a loving and forgiving God, and that you know, without question, that this school that you loved and dedicated your life to is a better place because of you.
Goodbye, Coach. And thanks for everything.
But not Joe Paterno. He came to Penn State as an assistant coach in 1950 and never left, despite numerous offers to coach in the NFL. As his family said today "his ambitions were far reaching, but he never believed he had to leave this Happy Valley to achieve them."
For forty-six years, he led my beloved Nittany Lions onto the playing field. It seems both ironic and tragic that his 409th victory, the one that secured his place as the winningest head coach in Division I history, came just a week before the scandal that rocked Penn State, that brought the most improbable, unimaginable end to a legendary career.
Joe Paterno became a legend here because he did things the right way. He was a teacher before he was a coach. He made sure that the boys that came to play for him went to class, earned their degrees, became men. I think it was clear though the hundreds of tributes from former players today that they felt they were better husbands, fathers, and leaders because of him and I have no doubt that it is true.
As the scandal unfolded and has continued to endure, I've often thought back to my friend Jessica's blog, When You Know It's Poop, published back in mid-November.
"This, too, is a tragedy, not only for a man who has lived humbly, ethically, and gracefully for most of his many days, but for the rest of us as well... if he can’t offer the world his good deeds and intentions without marring them with shame, who among us can?
When I read through Paterno's Washington Post interview it was with a heavy heart. I imagine it must have been a terrible burden for him to live his final days being judged so harshly by so many. To have a lifetime of achievement and philanthropy disregarded by so many as if it were Paterno himself accused of child molestation.
Many seem to take Paterno's statement that "With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more." as some admission of culpability. I don't. Who among us wouldn't wonder if we could have done more to make a difference? I think it simply makes him human.
I hope with time, people can see that Joe Paterno did or did not do what many of us would have done or not done in similar circumstances. That they'd stop holding him to a higher standard than they'd hold themselves to. I hope that with time, this scandal doesn't define him as deeply as it did in his final days. That his lifetime of good deeds and accomplishments carries the weight it deserves.
Joe Paterno leaves a legacy... to his wife, Sue, he was her soul mate, and together they had five children and 17 grandchildren to whom he was "a shining example of how to live a good, decent and honest life". As I read this in the Paterno family's statement today, I thought that's really all we can hope for in life and for that alone, he was a lucky man.
But, his legacy is also everywhere I looked today. When Coach Paterno came to State College in 1950, Penn State was an agricultural school in the middle of nowhere. And while we are still in the middle of nowhere, he put this town and this college on the map. There were less than 10,000 students here in 1950. Today, there are nearly five times that number at the University Park campus and nearly ten times that number throughout the Commonwealth. We are an internationally known and respected research university.
Beaver Stadium expanded six times during his tenure here, more than doubling in size and currently seating over 106,000. Because of its success, the football program supports many of Penn State's other athletic programs.
Inside the sports museum, there are two national championship trophies.
There is a wing of the library named after Joe Paterno, he and his wife donated to the spiritual center and the soon-to-be completed Suzanne Pohland Paterno Catholic Student Faith Center. He's donated a significant amount of money to the Mount Nittany Medical Center, which is currently undergoing an ambitious expansion. They've also supported countless other local charities.
My community is a much better place because Joe Paterno lived here. This is a part of his legacy.
There's a statue of Joe Paterno that sits in the shadows of Beaver Stadium. I've run past it many times. But it wasn't until today that I really stopped to consider the words that are printed there... a quote from Joe Paterno from more than a decade ago.
"They ask me what I'd like written about me when I'm gone. I hope they write I made Penn State a better place, not just that I was a good football coach."
My wish for you tonight, Coach Paterno, is that you are resting now in peace in the arms of a loving and forgiving God, and that you know, without question, that this school that you loved and dedicated your life to is a better place because of you.
Goodbye, Coach. And thanks for everything.
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